Friends Help You Keep Cool

About a week ago, I was in conversation with PMS PeskySheepy in a Halo 3 lobby, after a pack of lads on the opposing side had made some sort of misogynistic comment. While I was incensed, she said she’d long since got to the point where she laughed any such cheap comments off.

At the time, I couldn’t see her point, but since then I’ve realised all me getting angry does is feed the other guy’s beast, and we both get into a feedback loop of anger and misery. And boy, do I have better ways to feel than angry and miserable.

Like anything else worthwhile, though, a good mood takes work. So here are the things I’ve learned that will help me get a grip on my anger when some griefer decides to try to rile me up.

• The Mute function is my friend. This is true even when the player I want to mute is on my team; while I might need to exercise a little patience in order to make sure that player won’t communicate properly during the game, it’s often better to mute than sit through a whole match letting the trouble player interfere with my tactical comm.
• The Player Review is my friend. While it mightn’t exactly be zen to speak evil of a person, it’s the only way Xbox Live allows me to make sure I never have to encounter a distasteful person again.
• Time is my friend. Sure, I might be riled up at the things that twerp said right now, but in a week that twerp will be lucky to be more than a vague memory.
• A calm head is my friend. When being teabagged or corpse-shot in team games, I tell my teammates that they can find a stationary target at my location. I switch views and get an idea of the team situation so I can respond quickly at respawn, which robs the griefer of the attention he or she craves. Also, speaking personally, nothing was more unsettling when I started out than seeing my killer run straight over my body without stopping or saying a word. Truly, the ninja is scarier than the barbarian (the flaming ninja, scarier still).
• Perspective is my friend. Even if I’m the nicest guy on the Internet, someone will give me a negative player review out of spite – and sometimes I do earn one by getting cranky and dropping an F-bomb or two. I’ll take my player ratings with a pinch of salt and reserve self-examination for more thorough feedback. Ultimately, all a negative player review means is that someone would rather not play alongside me again, and that’s fine.

In closing, I’d like to offer an observation by a 3,000-year-old man:

Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind; it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate – and quickly.
- Lazarus Long, from Time Enough For Love by Robert A. Heinlein

Add “repeatedly” after “kill him” and you’ve got a motto to play by.

Thanks, Pesky!