That was so ***........

[PMS Unique]

I don't even know if you are allowed to use the word gay in these forums, but there's really no way to do this without using the "gay" word.

I am a gay gamer. Love me or hate, there it is. As a gay gamer, I would like to discuss something that bothers me and thousands of other gay gamers just like me. It's the abundant use of the phrases like "that was gay." It is rampant in the gaming world. It is extremely rare that I play a match where it is not uttered at least 5 times. These phrases are always brought up under negative circumstances, like your whole team just did something really stupid and got slaughtered as a result. It is never used when someone pulls off a really sweet kill. You would never hear someone say, "Wow! that was really GAY! Great job!"

To be honest, I truly do not for a moment believe that the majority of this comes from a place of hate or discrimination. It has just somehow become the cool thing for people to say, especially young people. I think the majority of it stems from a lack of awareness that, yes Virginia, there truly are gay gamers. I also think that , under the exact same circumstances, if someone said "that was so (insert any racial word here)" most people who don't think twice about using the gay phrase, would stop and think "wow, that was just wrong." They might even call out the person who said it.

I do try not to take offense when people use these phrases, because as I have already said, I do not believe it comes from a place of hate. That being said, it does get really old, and it can be hurftul.

I'm just trying to raise awareness. I am absolutely not trying to call anyone out, or make anyone feel bad for anything they may have said in the past, so please, please, please do not take it that way. I do not want anyone to feel that they can't have fun or make friendly jokes. I'm comfortable with who I am. I have a great sense of humor, and I actually enjoy joking and laughing about it. It's just when it's so overused in negative circumstances that it becomes really bothersome.

Thanks,
Robin

[icy]

I have a problem with doing that. it's a habit I'm trying to break myself of, since I have many homsexual friends. I don't usually use it when I'm typing, seeing as I don't type the way I talk.

[EpiK SkillZ]

Yeah, I get what you're saying, but then again, there are people that try to use certain "words" in hateful ways. Like I've noticed quite a few younger kids get mad at someone over Xbox Live and tend to say something along the lines of "Oh my god, you stupid ni**er!" Which is also really annoying. It's not exactly like using the word "gay", but I do understand where you're coming from.

[icy]

I believe that even though using the word "gay" in the way that people do most of the time, it's not as bad as someone using the word "ni**er" as an insult. The word gay isn't offensive if it's used properly, but ni**er is usually used to mean "ignorant black person", and I find it much more offensive then "gay".

[Rip]

it has sadly become such a common phrase that even I have to be conscious about not saying it, but it does irk me sometimes. Ditto on many of the slanderous or slang that has become all too common online. As a community we sometimes change things, for example grape is a common one now, maybe we need to change it to gray? I think i could go with that - interestingly enough, you seem to get more attention saying a modified version than you would with a standard one.

[PMS Unique]

I believe that even though using the word "gay" in the way that people do most of the time, it's not as bad as someone using the word "ni**er" as an insult. The word gay isn't offensive if it's used properly, but ni**er is usually used to mean "ignorant black person", and I find it much more offensive then "gay".


I agree that all racially derogatory words are wrong, and I have no respect whatsoever for anyone that uses them. You are also correct that the word "gay" in itself is not a derogatory term. I am referring to a very specific usage of the word. Noone can deny that when the phrase "that was gay" is used, that it is being used to describe something negative, which in the view of any gay person makes it derogatory; whether that is what the speaker intended or not. I don't think that we should put these things on a scale and say that because one thing is more offensive to a greater number of people, that makes the other thing OK. I just find it really sad that gay people are the last minority that it is totally socially acceptable to be derogatory about. In my experience, when some idiot does start using racial slurs; nine times out of ten, someone else will call them out on it. The few times that I have been foolish enough to actually say anything about "that was gay" in random play; believe me much more harsh anti-gay words have been slung at me every single time, and noone stepped up to say stop it, that's wrong. I know I can't stop anyone from using the gay phrase anymore than I can stop anyone from using that N word. I was just hoping to raise awareness that it does actually offend and hurt people. I believe that once decent people are made aware that it is offensive, then decent people will stop doing it.

[EpiK SkillZ]

I agree that all racially derogatory words are wrong, and I have no respect whatsoever for anyone that uses them. You are also correct that the word "gay" in itself is not a derogatory term. I am referring to a very specific usage of the word. Noone can deny that when the phrase "that was gay" is used, that it is being used to describe something negative, which in the view of any gay person makes it derogatory; whether that is what the speaker intended or not. I don't think that we should put these things on a scale and say that because one thing is more offensive to a greater number of people, that makes the other thing OK. I just find it really sad that gay people are the last minority that it is totally socially acceptable to be derogatory about. In my experience, when some idiot does start using racial slurs; nine times out of ten, someone else will call them out on it. The few times that I have been foolish enough to actually say anything about "that was gay" in random play; believe me much more harsh anti-gay words have been slung at me every single time, and noone stepped up to say stop it, that's wrong. I know I can't stop anyone from using the gay phrase anymore than I can stop anyone from using that N word. I was just hoping to raise awareness that it does actually offend and hurt people. I believe that once decent people are made aware that it is offensive, then decent people will stop doing it.

Yeah, it just shows the community these days. It doesn't seem like anyone cares for anyone else's feelings anymore. People need to start watching what they say.

[H2O Xanadu]

Yeah, it just shows the community these days. It doesn't seem like anyone cares for anyone else's feelings anymore. People need to start watching what they say.

I agree, but there are way too many 'children' playing games online and they do this just to be annoying or to look 'cool' for their buddies. And when I say 'children' I mean anyone 15 and under usually. Only time I've really heard it is when Mr. Voicechangeboy decides he didnt like how it all went down. I actually tend to ignore it, which is just as worse I suppose as saying it. But I do like the term 'Gray' as a different way of expressing it.. You guys should start that fad up like grape :)

[Pirate]

I say "That was so gay" or "Thats gay!" all the time.. and im a girl dating a girl. I have many other homosexual friends.. Doesn't bother me, or any of my friends, and im gonna continue to say it.

[Gypsyfly PMS]

I personally don't feel comfortable saying it. And I hope no one is saying it on the forums either, just like "Rape" "N*****" so on. Or in competition. The point of our team/community is to make everyone feel comfortable and part of the team. If anyone feels uncomfortable than obviously you can probably use another choice of words.

We should all learn to develop more than a 25 word vocabulary. PMS and H20 have learned to adapt and use the word "GRAPE" like xanadu said, since we don't allow "rape". If you need to use "that's so gray" instead. Please do so. Whatever you do with your own name and in your home is your business though. But with a clan tag, on these forums, and in competition with fellow PMS/H20, please say something else.

[PMS Unique]

I say "That was so gay" or "Thats gay!" all the time.. and im a girl dating a girl. I have many other homosexual friends.. Doesn't bother me, or any of my friends, and im gonna continue to say it.

If you are not offended by it, then that is fine for you. There are many black people who are not offended when a white buddy walks up and says "what's up my "N"?" But there are many more who would be absolutely mortified, just as there are many gay people who are indeed offended when someone equates something negative with something that is "so gay." I realize that just because I am offended by it, not every gay person is offended; but by that same token, just because you or your friends are not offended by it does not mean that no gay people are.